What's Tomorrow Without You
by Natoya
Summary: I want to hope that I make it, but if I don't, I want you to promise me that you will try to move on. That you won't let it hold you back." "Yugi... What's tomorrow without you?" YYXY yaoi character death


Natoya: Gah! Plot bunnies!

Yugi: Yay, another one-shot! /claps/

Yami: Oh joy.

Natoya: I have had this song stuck in my head for the past couple of days. It's Love You to Death by Kamelot. Great song, worth a listen, but anyway, onward to my point! /points in the air/ Crap... Did I even have a point?

Yugi: This one-shot is inspired by the song. /smiles/

Yami: And there would be the point.

Natoya: /smacks Yami on the arm/ Shut up!

Yugi: Anyway, onward to story!

Yami: Natoya does not own Yu-Gi-Oh or the song Love You to Death. That is owned by the band Kamelot. Not her.

Natoya: Enjoy the story everyone!

_**First note: Warning for character death. Yes, there is a death in this fic! If you don't like it, then don't read this and then complain that whoever died should have lived. I'm warning you now that someone does die. I hope you enjoy this fic anyway. If you want angst and a tear jerker, well, here you go. Just don't read without your tissues. You're gonna need them.**_

_**Second note: The lyrics say fifteen but please pretend it's a little older. Yugi is definitely not fifteen in this story, I believe that's a little young, so I'm raising his age to seventeen. I also know the lyrics say she, but pretend they say he or whatever makes you comfortable. Just mentally change whatever lyrics you need changed. That is all.**_

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

_**/When they met she was fifteen  
Like a black rose blooming wild  
And she already knew she was gonna die/**_

Seventeen. Yugi was only seventeen... Why did this have to happen? Why, when they had just revealed their love for each other not a month before? Yugi was so young yet; he had his whole life ahead of him! Yami sat huddled on the floor with his knees drawn up to his chest. He was outside Yugi's room, listening to the little one inside cry. They had just gotten back from the doctor's office today, a day which should have been normal. It should have been just like any other day, just another check-up, but they were wrong. Oh so horribly wrong. Yugi... Yugi had cancer... Tears began leaking from Yami's own eyes. He sat in his huddled position and just cried. Why did this have to happen? It wasn't fair! Yami lifted his head and brought a fist down hard on the floor, making a resounding bang. Pain shot up his arm and his hand began to throb, but he paid it no mind. That pain was nothing compared to what was coming from Yugi's side of the link.

"Yami...?" Yugi spoke softly, coming to the door and opening it when he heard the loud noise. Yami looked at him and both remained silent for a moment, staring into each other's tear filled eyes. Yugi's gaze lowered to the floor after a moment longer and his hand reached up to grip the wooden frame of his doorway. Yami watched him, waiting to see what he would say.

"Yami... Please come in here. I... I need you...to hold me." Yugi said, beginning to choke up. Yami wanted to say no. He wanted to run out of this apartment, run down the street, run and run and not look back. He didn't want to see the hopelessness in Yugi's eyes. He didn't want to see the tears, the fear, the pain. But he could not say no, not to his sweet hikari, his precious aibou. He slowly got to his feet and held out his hand, silently begging Yugi to take it.

"Of course Aibou." Yami said softly. Yugi took his hand and led him into the bedroom. They went to Yugi's bed and laid down together, Yugi huddled in his dark's strong arms. Both were silent for the longest time, the only sound in the room being the sound of Yugi's sniffles as he struggled not to cry anymore. Yami stroked his hair, trying to retreat to a happy place, a place where his hikari wasn't sick, wasn't dying.

"Yami... We have to talk about this sooner or later." Yugi finally said. Yami froze, his motions stopping. He did not want to have this conversation. Yugi would be fine. Yugi wasn't going to leave him, so they didn't need to do this. Yugi felt him tense, and he understood, but this needed to happen. They needed to discuss this. If they ignored it, the consequences wouldn't be good.

"I don't want to." Yami said truthfully. "You're not going to die, so there's nothing to discuss."

"Yami." Yugi said. "Don't do that. Don't go into denial on me. I have to go through treatments and there's no guarantee they are going to work. They way the doctor talked, they have a slim chance." Yugi said. Yami's grip on him tightened.

"Stop it. Don't talk like that. The treatments will work. You're going to be fine." Yami said.

"Yami, what if they don't? What if this winds up killing me?" Yugi asked. Yami wrenched himself from Yugi and sat up, turning his face away from his hikari.

_**/"What's tomorrow without you?  
This is our last goodbye"/  
**_

"I don't want to think about that." Yami said quietly. Yugi's eyes filled with tears. He looked torn between going to his yami and trying to hug him, or staying where he was. He chose the second option, fearing rejection from his dark half.

"Do you think I want to? I'm only seventeen and I might... I might die. I don't want to think about it, I don't want to talk about it-"

"Then why are we?!" Yami snapped, turning angry crimson eyes to his aibou's amethyst. Yugi looked hurt and that made Yami visibly flinch.

"Because if I don't, if we don't, then you and I might explode. And we need to discuss all our options. I want to hope that I make it, but if I don't, I want you to promise me that you will try to move on. That you won't let it hold you back. I need you to promise that if we have to say goodbye, that you will move onward to your next tomorrow." Yugi said, tears beginning to stream down his cheeks again. His words made Yami choke up, and tears began streaming from his own crimson orbs once more.

"Yugi... What's tomorrow without you?" Yami asked. For that, Yugi didn't have a reply.

_**/She got weaker every day  
As the autumn leaves flew by  
Until one day, she told him, "This is when I die"/**_

The months passed by, slowly and painfully. Yugi went through treatment after treatment, but it didn't seem to do any good. He was getting weaker and weaker and he knew he wouldn't have much time left. The thought left him sad and he often cried when he was alone in his room, but he wasn't crying for himself. His was crying for his darker half. Yami still believed with his whole heart that he was going to get better and he refused to believe that he wouldn't. The last time Yugi had tried to tell him how he felt, Yami had gotten so angry and left in a huff, not returning until nightfall. Yugi was saddened by the fact he wouldn't be here for Yami anymore.

"Aibou?" Yami called from the doorway. Yugi smiled and sat up as best he could in the bed. Well, let Yami have his disillusions for now. It was summertime and beautiful, and Yugi would enjoy this time he had left with his dark for all he was worth. Yami sat down on the edge of the bed and reached over, stroking Yugi's cheek. It was hard to believe how frail his little light had become. He was so pale and he had lost so much weight. He had always looked small, now he just looked... There were no words to describe it.

"Yami, can we go to the park tomorrow? Just us? The news said the weather would be perfect for a picnic." Yugi suggested. Yami smiled.

"Of course Aibou." Yami replied. Yugi's smile widened. Yami felt his heart leap at the sight, but then his feelings began to downgrade. A pesky voice in the back of his head kept whispering things in his ear, things he did not want to hear nor think about. /How much longer will you be able to see him smile like that? What if it's the last time you ever see him smile like that?/ Yami forcefully shoved the voice away. He was going to enjoy this time with his hikari, and he wasn't going to worry about a thing. It would all work out. It always did.

Yami did as he said and took his hikari out the next day. The park was beautiful. The lake was clear and sparkling, the sun was shining, and there was a breeze that ruffled Yugi's hair and brought a sweet laugh from his lips. Yami savored the sound, not wanting to waste a precious moment of this time. They had a picnic by the lake, basking in the sun and watching the sun sparkle on the tiny ripples the wind caused.

"Yami, I love you." Yugi said suddenly, flashing his yami a sweet smile. Yami stared at him for a moment, something about his hikari's tone seeming off to him.

"I love you too Yugi." Yami replied, leaning over and pressing a sweet kiss to Yugi's lips. Yugi held onto him for a few minutes before the need for air became apparent and they broke apart. Yugi smiled again and turned his attention to the lake. Yami watched him for a long time.

_**/"What was summer like for you?"  
She asked him with a smile  
"What's tomorrow without you?"  
He silently replied/  
**_

_**&1 month later&**_

No. No, no, no. This wasn't happening, couldn't be happening. One moment his hikari had been fine, and the next... The next he had collapsed and was rushed to the local hospital. Yami waited in the waiting room, his elbows resting on his knees, hands clenched tightly together with his chin resting on them. What was taking the doctors so long?! Why couldn't they hurry and come out here and tell him what the hell was wrong with his Yugi!? Tears pricked at Yami's eyes. Please, please Ra... Please let him be okay. Please...

"Yami!" Yami glanced up and was sort of relieved to see their friends running towards him. Joey stopped, panting, Tea and Tristan right behind him.

"Yami, we came as soon as we heard. Any word yet?" Tea asked, concern shining in her big blue eyes. Yami shook his head.

"No. Nothing yet." Yami answered. They all sat around him, trying to keep him grounded, keep him sane, but they were failing fast. Yami was out of his mind with worry and with every second that went by, he lost another piece of his sanity. The door suddenly opened and Yami stood up, ready to meet the doctor who held his hikari's fate in his hands. The doctor looked sad, and it instantly tore Yami's heart in two.

"Is he going to be okay Doctor?" Yami asked. The doctor slowly shook his head. Yami barely heard Tea's choked sob from behind him.

"He's in critical condition Mr. Atemu. The cancer... It's finally too much for him. We don't expect him to last through the hour." The doctor said. Yami could not believe what he had just heard. No, no, no, NO! This couldn't be happening! Yami's hands clenched into fists, his nails digging into the sensitive skin of his palms. He could feel the blood now threatening to spill from his hands.

"Can I see him please?" Yami asked. The doctor nodded. Yami ran by him and down the hall, frantically searching for his aibou's room. When he found it, he opened the door and hurried inside. The site of his hikari laying so pale and so worn on the hospital bed served only to break Yami's heart in two even more. Yami sank to his knees beside his aibou's bed, taking a pale hand in his own. He stared at their hands. Yugi had always been pale, but now he was almost translucent. It made his own tan skin stand out even more. Their friends arrived in the doorway, peering inside.

"Can we come in?" Joey asked. Yami nodded and they slowly crowded around Yugi's bed. They sat there for fifteen minutes before Yugi's eyes suddenly opened. Yami stared at him, clenching his hand tighter. Yugi looked around him, a sad smile on his lips as he looked around at everyone.

"I'm going to die, aren't I?" Yugi asked quietly. Tea began to sob. Tears streamed silently down Joey and Tristan's faces.

"Yes..." Yami said even quieter. Yugi's own eyes teared up and he looked around once more at everyone in the room.

"I love you guys." Yugi whispered.

"And we love you too." They chorused. They talked and chatted for as long as they were able before Yugi requested to spend his last few moments with Yami. The gang nodded and left the room, leaving the two of them alone. Yami didn't want to do this. He didn't want to say goodbye. He didn't want Yugi to die, to leave him.

"Please... Don't." He murmured, lifting Yugi's hand and pressing a kiss to it.

"What was summer like for you?" Yugi asked him. Yami tried to smile, but he just couldn't bring himself to. His light wanted to remember their times together, but Yami couldn't... It was already too painful. Instead he tried to convey to Yugi how badly he did not want his precious light, his soul mate, his partner, to go.

"What's tomorrow without you?" Yami said. Yugi began to cry.

_**/She said,  
"I will always be with you  
I'm the anchor of your sorrow  
There's no end to what I'll do  
Cause I love you, I love you to death"/**_

"Yugi... Please don't cry." Yami whispered. Yugi sniffled and looked at him.

"Yami. I love you so much. I don't want to leave you." Yugi told him. Yami stroked his cheek, unable to hold his tears back anymore. They streamed steadily down his face as he gazed upon his light with as much love and affection as he possibly could.

"I love you too Yugi. I wish you didn't have to go." Yami told him.

"Yami, you never promised me." Yugi said. Yami blinked at him, startled. A promise? What promise? Yami couldn't remember.

"What promise?" Yami asked him. Yugi smiled.

"That you would move on. Don't let this hold you back. Move on to your tomorrow." Yugi said.

"Yugi.."

"Promise me. Please?" Yugi begged. Yami wanted to say no, but since when had he been able to deny his hikari something that he wanted? Yami nodded his head, not trusting himself to speak. Yugi smiled again and seemed to be relieved. Things were silent for a little while after that. Yami sat there, holding onto Yugi's hand, watching Yugi watch him, neither one willing to break the silence. They were too busy trying to savor each other. Finally at one point, Yugi spoke.

"You know, I'll always be with you." He said softly. Yami squeezed his hand.

"I know."

"Yami, kiss me?" Yugi asked. Yami stood, leaning over his aibou and pressing a soft, sweet kiss to his lips, lingering for as long as he could. He knew this would be the last kiss he would ever give his precious light. When he pulled back, Yugi was smiling, the tears shining in his eyes once more.

"I love you." Yugi said, reaching up as best as he could to stroke his dark half's cheek. Yami knelt so he could reach and held his soft hand to his face.

"I love you too Aibou." Yami said softly and with all the love he could muster. Yugi smiled one more time before his eyes closed. It was then that he stopped breathing. Yami began sobbing and released Yugi's hand, letting it fall limply to the bed as the heart monitor flat-lined. That was it, Yugi was gone. Yami leaned over his hikari's body, sobbing for all he was worth, hugging the frail body beneath him. He wouldn't let go, not for anything, not even when the doctors and nurses came rushing into the room and tried to pry him from the bed.

_**/But the sorrow went too deep  
The mountain fell too steep  
And the wounds would never heal  
Cause the pain of the loss was more than he could feel/**_

Yugi's funeral was a blur for Yami. He barely heard anything anyone said, the hugs and whispers and murmurs of "I'm sorry for your loss" didn't mean a thing. Nothing meant anything anymore. Yugi was gone. There was nothing left to that empty shell lying so peacefully in that coffin. The preacher spoke a prayer, one meant to see Yugi off into the next world, into the Heaven he talked so much about. Once it was over, the mourners stepped forward, one at a time, and laid a bright red rose on top of the coffin. Yami stood there, hands in his pockets, his eyes trained on the coffin, ignoring whatever else anyone had to say to him. Then they were all gone. The cars vanished and he was alone. Yami knew he should leave, he should get away while he could, but his feet wouldn't move.

He stood there and watched Yugi's casket be laid into the ground beside the grave site of his grandfather. Watched the hole fill up. Watched the his aibou completely vanish from his sight. Yami felt something wet on his face and was startled to realize he'd been crying the whole time. He wiped them away, only to have them replaced, so after a while he just let the tears fall. Yugi had once told him it was okay to cry. Crying always made you feel better; it washed away whatever bad feelings you had.

_"Aibou, is that why you smile after you cry?"_

_"Yes, because then I'm not sad anymore."_

The workers were leaving now and it was getting dark. While Yami had been musing, it had begun to rain, and now he was wet. Yami didn't care though. After the workers all left, Yami was alone in the graveyard. Alone with hundreds of dead people, one of whom just happened to be the love of his life. Yami walked over to the fresh grave site, staring down at the tombstone that clearly said his hikari's name in a lovely font. Yami's tears were mixed with the rainwater running down his face. It was too much. Yami couldn't take it anymore. He hit his knees in the dirt, not caring that his dress pants were now covered in mud. He laid down, one hand braced on the tombstone as he cried.

_**/He said,  
"I will always be with you  
By the anchor of my sorrow  
All I know, or ever knew,  
Is I love you, I love you to death"/**_

Yami had no idea how long he laid there. He was still there long after his tears had dried up. He was lying on his back now, staring up at the sky. The moon changed to the sun and he knew he'd been there all night. But he didn't care. He was shivering, freezing cold because of the previous rain, but he didn't care. For a brief, brief moment, Yami wondered if he would die. He wanted to be anywhere other then here. He wanted to be with his hikari, his life, his love, the anchor of his sorrow. Yami began to laugh at the absurdity of what he had just thought, one hand coming up to cover his face as he laughed.

_"If you died now, wouldn't you be breaking your promise to me?"_

Yami shot up, looking around. He turned and stared at his light's tombstone. He thought for sure he had just heard his voice, but that shouldn't have been possible. Yugi was lying six feet under him, inside a wooden coffin. There was no possible way... Yami began to laugh even harder now. The laugh itself sounded strained and strange. Yami thought he was starting to lose his mind.

_"You're not losing your mind. You know better then that." _This time the voice had sounded right behind him. Yami turned once again to the tombstone, his eyes widening when he beheld a perfect image of Yugi standing right behind his tombstone. The small light was leaning on it, a playful smile on his lips. Yami blinked and rubbed his eyes, still thinking he was going nuts, but the image wouldn't fade. Yugi rolled his eyes and giggled. Yami began to tremble. Yugi's giggle... He would have given anything to hear it again and it was the most beautiful sound in the world.

"Are you...? Are you really here?" Yami asked, still not entirely believing that his light was standing there, looking as beautiful and perfect as he did in life, before the cancer stole away his life. Yugi nodded.

_"After all the weird stuff that has happened to us, you'd think seeing a spirit would be no big deal to you, right?"_ Yugi laughed. Yami shook his head.

"Not when it's you. Why are you here? Shouldn't you have moved on? Not that I'm not happy to see you." Yami questioned, giving him as best a smile as he could, which it only came out halfway. Yugi sighed and looked towards the sky.

_"I can't move on. Not until you're happy. I need to know you'll be okay before I go." _Yugi said softly.

"Yugi, you just died. Of course I'm not okay. But why should that hold you back?" Yami asked.

_"Because you want to die. Don't deny it, I know you thought about it. That's not what you promised me." _Yugi said, looking back at him.

"I'm sorry." Yami whispered quietly, looking guilty.

_"Yami, I know you're sad, but you need to keep your promise to me. You need to live your life for me." _Yugi said."I can't. I can't... Not without you." Yami said. Yugi smiled sadly and shook his head.

/"What's tomorrow without you?  
Is this our last goodbye?"/

_"I'm not alive anymore. You can't be anchored to me. You have to live your life." _Yugi said again.

"Why?" Tears were visible in those vivid ruby colored eyes that Yugi loved so very much.

_"Because this isn't the last time you'll see me you know. We'll see each other again, when you come home to me, but you have to live your life first." _Yugi said, this time a little more insistent.

"Come home to you?" Yami echoed.

_"You'll see me again when you die yourself, silly. And until then..." _Yugi trailed off.

"Until then...?" Yami said, urging him to complete that sentence.

_"Until then, I'll go on with my tomorrows too. But the one I'll look forward to most, is the __one where I see you again." _Yugi said.

"Aibou..." Yami began to choke up. "I love you. More then you'll ever know." Yugi smiled brightly.

_"I love you too Yami. Now get up and go home. You have a promise to keep." _With those parting words, Yugi's spirit vanished and Yami was once again left alone. Wiping the tears from his eyes, Yami did as he was asked and stood up, the wind now ruffling his hair. The sun was shining brightly and the breeze felt so nice... Yami was reminded of their last trip to the park and this time, the memory didn't make him feel quite as sad. Yami smiled bittersweetly. He knew it would take some time, but someday he'd think on that trip with a ton of happiness.

"I'll try for you Aibou, I promise." Yami murmured, looking to the sky. A giggle, a sweet as music, floated on the breeze to him and he smiled, knowing that wherever he was, his hikari had heard him. Yami placed his hands inside his pockets and walked to his car.

_**/"I will always be with you  
I'm the anchor of your sorrow  
There's no end to what I'll do  
Cause I love you"/  
**_

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

_**Confused at all? Please read the authors notes at the top of the page then. If you are still confused after that, please feel free to send me an e-mail and I'll answer any questions you might have. /smiles/ That is all.**_

Natoya: /is clutching Yugi and both are currently crying/

Yami: /twitching because he wants to hug Yugi and currently can't/

Natoya: I'm sorry Yugi!

Yami: Okay you're sorry! Now move! /throws Natoya to the side and glomps his aibou silly/

Yugi: /cuddles Yami/

Natoya: Aw... cute. Anyway, I bet you all want to hurt me now, right? /sweatdrop/ I'm sorry about the character death. It was necessary cause of the lyrics to the song. I tried to make the ending a little more light, instead of ending on pure angst, and I like how it came out. I can only hope you guys too. /smiles/

Yugi: /wipes tears/ Now please read and review. We'd like to know what you thought of it.

Yami: /still cuddling Yugi/

Natoya: See you all later! /waves/


End file.
